Good teachers

I am currently in the midst of the agony that is more commonly known as finals. This is my second and last week, but after starting out strong, at this point I'm burnt out and just dragging myself to the finish line.

But thank God for understanding teachers. For example, I had an exam this morning at 8:00am and set my alarm clocks accordingly the night before. However, tell me why I wake up, and IT IS EIGHT O'CLOCK. In blind panic I make my roommate drive me to school, hoping that I have enough time to take the test, if I can even take it at all. One of my classmates calls me asking where I am, and to hurry up.

As soon as I make it to the test room, the only proctor I see is one of my favorite teachers, Dr. J. He's this little old man who talks really fast, so sometimes it's hard to understand him, but gives great instruction. And needless to say from this episode, he is exceptionally kind. He gives me an individually prepared exam, and starts going on about not to worry, I have plenty of time, that I only lost ten minutes, and makes sure I'm all settled in. I can honestly say it made a big difference in how I took the test, as opposed to interacting with someone who might have been irritated that I was late.

Afterward, when I turn in the test, he tells me, "Did you have enough time? We were all so worried and wondering about where you were, but I'm glad you're fine."

Yeah. We need more people like this in the world.

Tuesday morning verses

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.
John 16:33

Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the Lord.
Psalms 31:24

Just some verses from the past couple of days that have been particularly strengthening and peace-granting.

Word of mouth failed me

Happy belated Thanksgiving! For some reason, I had the BEST time being at home this vacation. I feel so refreshed, smothered by family love, and (somewhat) ready to tackle the rest of the semester. About to do some damage control.. hee. -__-

Anyway, I usually only start watching Korean dramas after hearing about them from friends who are really into this kind of thing, but I randomly discovered and got into this one drama called Love Rain/사랑비 that is so good! It's surprising to me that I haven't heard a single peep about this drama from anyone (I even recently asked someone about a good drama to check out), even though it seems to be pretty popular and I think one of the better ones out there this year, if not in a while. Though I will say I liked the beginning 1970s storyline more than I'm liking the current day.

Thank goodness it's only 20 episodes.. otherwise I would be in big trouble.

Mid-semester reflections

It's been awhile, blogosphere.

I'm officially on fall break after taking midterm after midterm after midterm. Seven to be exact. That number goes up to ten tests during finals. :O

I knew going into it that this would be a hard semester, but I still feel like a hot mess, while my classmates seem to thrive and stay on top of things. Though I know I shouldn't compare-perhaps there are some who are ducks in a pond, paddling hard underwater while looking cool and collected on the surface.

It just seems like the minute I think, okay, I know what I'm doing, everything falls apart or some random curveball gets thrown at me. I'm tired of it. This two-day break isn't enough to recover from all of that.

But maybe I'm being too hard on myself. I'm not failing anything, and if I stay focused I can probably do quite well this semester.

I think the number one mantra I need to remember is that school is not my life. My worth is not in school and grades. It doesn't matter what others think of me.

Sometimes it's difficult to remember the above when I'm in that competitive, dental-y environment 40+ hours a week though.

Nightdreaming

Perhaps it's the dull thump of this techno-like music I'm listening to subliminally seeping ideas into my brain, but I'm imagining that the view outside my window looks like this.

Thanks Google search. And Hong Kong for this gorgeous view.

Oh, radiology. Why can't you be more glitzy and glamorous? 

Changing last names after marriage

I just read a blog article about whether a woman (or man marrying a woman, as the article added) should change her/his last name after marriage.

Until recently, I'd always thought that if I do get married, I would definitely take my husband's last name. Just out of tradition, and wanting to create a family unit with everyone sharing a single name. 

However, the blog made me realize that there is now a part of me that perhaps would like to keep my last name. It's unique, and is one of the only ties I have to my Japanese heritage, which is all but non-existent in my life. Plus, once I start working, I would prefer to be called by my current last name because I earned my degree as T. CurrentName, not T. NewName. Is that selfish? >_<

So I thought that maybe legally I would keep my last name, to use professionally, and then use my husband's name socially. But then it made me kind of sad that we would die with different legal last names. I know it wouldn't be true at all, but it makes the marriage sound a tiny bit fraudulent/less valid to me. 

Anyway, this is not something that I have to worry about anytime soon so these are just random musings of a sleepy T.

My life in gifs

2nd year
whatshouldwecalldentistschool:

It started like this

Then the information overload felt like this:

Now every night feels like this:

The amount of info you retain by the next day is this:

Your attention span is like this


And all you need is this

How it feels to be in dental school
whatshouldwecalldental:

How It feels when you’re accepted

How it feels once you’re in for a few months.

Yep, pretty much sums up my life these days. Thanks whatshouldwecalldentistschool and whatshouldwecalldental for commiserating with me! The little sense of humor that has all but been sucked out of me (by dental school, of course) appreciates it.

Hair inspiration

I am still obsessed with wanting to dye my hair blonde. One of the main reservations I had with this though was the whole growing out process, not to mention the extensive maintenance I imagine it would require. However, I stumbled upon some hair inspiration from a blog that is making it harder and harder to resist taking some chemical to the head:

While it is possibly creepy that I have random people's pictures on my blog (they are from http://www.fashionista804.com, for the record), I love this ombre look on the girl on the right. Casual, and a gradual change from blonde to black, so even if my roots grow out a little, it's all good in the neighborhood. I also like the actual blonde color-not brassy or orange-y. As a side note, the hair color on the girl on the left is really pretty too.

If I ever get this done, I'm taking these photos in to the salon with me. Hopefully these girls won't mind! Or maybe I can learn to do this myself!

Peach picking and wine tasting

One of my roommates moved out yesterday. Because we lived together for three years, and she's one of the people who has been with me since the beginning of my life in this city, it was a bit sad when she left. Aside from family and my other roommate, I have never lived with anyone for this long! A lot of memories over the years. Such as our peach picking and wine tasting adventures a couple of weeks ago!

Yum! At Carter Mountain.

Basket purely for show. Belonged to the people who graciously took this pic for us!

At the Jefferson Vineyards in/near Charlottesville.

Relaxing in the gorgeous weather that day.

I'm starting to feel a shift in my life in this city. Soon, my other roommate will move out as well, and I'll have to somehow navigate through my last two years here without these girls. They've definitely made living here easier and fun!

Psalms 13

1 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3 Look on me and answer, O Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
4 my enemy will say, “I have overcome him, ” and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5 But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me. 

Emphasis added.

This Psalms says what's on my heart tonight. I'm comforted, because despite any storms in my life, the Lord has been good to me. No foe, no enemy can take him away from me.

The city that never sleeps

As a sort of final hurrah of my summer vacation, my friend H invited me to visit her new home, NYC, for a few days! Twas mucho fun! I didn't take too many pictures but here are some parts of our adventures..

The first full day I was there, there were preview performances of shows for the upcoming fall Broadway season at Bryant Park. We decided to check it out, and despite the heat, it was worth it just to see the Mamma Mia cast perform. You'll see my friend and myself laughing in the beginning of the vid at how COMMITTED the guy in the mustard yellow shirt is to the performance! He is so into it! Love it. Sorry for the shakiness and my constant zoom adjustment though. :(

 

We made a stop at my smarty pants friend's school, Columbia. This area reminded me of the Lawn at UVA.

Okay. So about this musical.. I knew I wanted to see a Broadway show while I was in NY, and had a list all ready to go of possible ones I was interested in. H thought we should go to the theaters the day before to scope out the availability of each show, and whether it was likely that we would be able to see it for cheap. This was the first and only place we stopped by, because the man we spoke to that worked there hyped it up for us, telling us that tickets were sold out until next year, and people coming out of the theater said it was hands down the best show they'd seen. We were sold! Hence, we were there the next day from 2:30pm-7:00pm waiting in line for standing tickets, and excitedly, were able to get them..

But like most things that are hyped up, this did not meet expectations. I still can't tell if I am disappointed because it didn't live up to what was advertised, or if it was just a show that I wasn't crazy about, regardless. It does have some merit though-there are a few hilarious scenes and characters, and some of the songs are pretty good.

The line I stood in for 4.5 hours

There was also a lottery for front row/balcony seating. Didn't win.

Times Square never gets old.

Back home. Thought it was a cool scene of the train station.

We also ate A LOT and had fun just people watching in the subway, Central Park, and other parts of the city. Most importantly though, I was glad that I was able to hang out with my buddy, even just in her apt, since I don't get to see her in person too often.

School starts tomorrow for me. Praying that this year goes well!

NBDE 1 done!

I took the first part of my dental boards on July 13, and after a couple of weeks of cruel uncertainty, I got a letter last week saying I passed! Praise God!

In case some dental student stumbles upon this blog looking for NBDE Part 1 advice, here’s what I used and how I studied. I know I was Googling like a madwoman for any help while I studied, and came up with very little that wasn’t an advertisement or geared toward international students who, according to the random forums I would get weirdly sucked into and panic over, study for six months to a year straight to take the test. Uh no. I had less than a month for this.

How long did I study?
-I took about 20 “hardcore” days to study. I was in a Pathology course this summer as well, and while I tried to study for both that class and boards, boards definitely took a back burner while I was taking the class. So I didn’t really start until school was officially out.
-By “hardcore”, I mean a minimum six hours of uninterrupted studying a day. A few days it would be less, but most of the time it was the norm. Also, I basically said goodbye to a social life. Fourth of July was a bust, and friends/family got used to me answering the phone in a whisper because I was in the library so much. 

What did I use?
-Dental Decks, 2012-2013 edition, but I think they're basically all the same.

Not my picture. Thanks internet.

-Board Busters, first edition, courtesy of my generous roommate. There's a second edition, but unless they're correcting for the atrocious spelling errors from the first edition (have these people never heard of spell check? It's pretty bad), there's no need to pay more for the second edition.

Again, not my picture. And again, I used 1st ed.

-Old tests. This was probably most useful in getting used to how the questions would be asked, and simulating the actual test.

-Wikipedia. When you're in the thick of all this material and you want to remember that little tidbit from yesterday's study session, this is your best friend.

I wouldn't suggest more than three main sources of study material (not including Wikipedia), because 1. there's only so much material that one can memorize in a few weeks, so any extra info that may be in other sources will just be that-extraneous, and on the flipside 2. there's probably going to be a lot of overlap, so it's not necessary and it'll be easier to stay organized.

How did I study?

-I initially started with the Decks, but when it got boring/confusing after a point, I started reading Board Busters to get the general outline of the subject, and then used the Decks to quiz myself and glean any info I might have missed from the book.

-About a week before my test, I started taking practice exams, 200 questions at a time, while finishing going through Decks/Board Busters in between. I then went over questions I got wrong to make sure I understood the concept.

-Prayed a lot. Asked others to pray for me.

And after all of this, I took the exam. I actually pushed back the date (originally supposed to take it July 9), and I think those extra days helped. Also, I used the entire eight hours to take the test. There were a ton of questions I didn't feel confident about, and didn't feel confident about the results coming out of the exam. Thankfully, though, the test is now just pass/fail and not scored, so even though there's a high chance I barely made it over the threshold, I still made it and if I can, definitely anyone can. ;)

Ya mon!

A couple weeks ago, I had the opportunity to travel to Treasure Beach, Jamaica as part of a dental missions team. The group consisted of about 21 people, including dental students of all levels from my school, as well as dentists, hygienists, and pre-dents. A few videos and pictures from the trip..

These are from the villa I stayed in. I loved it because it wasn't near anything touristy and the views were so beautiful. We also had Jamaican cooks come in to make us breakfast and dinner every day. I've never had such good Jamaican food! Honestly, I was fully prepared to rough it that week-I thought the living situation would be more like sleeping on the floor of a hut somewhere, with minimal showers and cramped spaces and other inconveniences, so this was a pleasant surprise.

             

So ok. I've only just finished my first year, and didn't expect to be able to do much that required real dental skills. Yet another surprise-the first day, the dentists leading the team assigned a 3rd year and myself to a chair to do extractions, and by the second day they gave me my own chair to pull teeth by myself! Never mind that I had barely seen an extraction done before..

But I also loved this-I learned so much in the span of four days that would have taken me forever in school due to all the red tape and scheduling. Not to say that rules aren't necessary, especially in sue-happy America, but I appreciated that the dentists treated me like a responsible dentist-in-training, trusting that I was capable enough to do what I could, and if the case was too difficult, trusting me to turn to them for assistance. But perhaps their trust was one of urgency-there was so much that we needed to do, and the days were so fast-paced, that all hands really needed to be on deck. In any case, by the end of the week, I was comfortable giving injections (I had done exactly one prior to this trip), and pulling out teeth like a champ. :)

On the last day we took a boat tour to do some sight-seeing. In addition to getting up close to scary crocodiles and happy dolphins, we sipped coconut water fresh from the trees as we took turns jumping off a rope swing into the water. We stopped by the Pelican Bar, which is a hut in the middle of the ocean, and lounged. A good ending to the trip.

 
A short tour of the clinic.

Every morning, the pastor would lead the patients and dental team in a hymn and prayer. Not pictured, but every morning we would also have our own devotion as a team.

This entry is getting long, and I could keep going, but ultimately, this is the first volunteer project I've participated in that I truly felt fulfilled. It aligned so well with my beliefs, my interests, and I felt like I was actually doing something to help others. With other volunteer projects, I wandered aimlessly (literally and figuratively), not making any true headway in offering aid due to my lack of needed skill at the time. I don't mean to say any of this out of pride, or to put other projects down, but just that there was a joy in serving in this capacity as it resonated with me personally. I want God to use me as a dentist, and to use my education as a way to love and serve others. I'm grateful for this experience.

Hipsters

Once in a while I'll run into someone I knew from way back when. Or rather, the person notices me as I obliviously go about my business.

X: "Teresa ______."

For some reason it's always my full name, and muttered apathetically.

Me: "Oh, hey! It's been a while! How are you?"

I'm pleasantly surprised; glad to see an old face in ironically retro, yet trendy clothes.

X: (paraphrased) "It's whatever, and I'm saying it in way that conveys I'm not the least bit excited to see you, so please get out of my face as if I wasn't the one who initiated this conversation."

And then I say some random pleasantry to end this weird interaction, to which the person shrugs off, and I move on, not exactly sure what just happened. My main question, after laughing off the absurdity, is why even bother getting my attention?

This has happened to me a few times now. As far as I'm concerned, they're acquaintances I used to know, incubating in their cocoons, until the 2010s rolled around and they emerged as full-on, too-cool-for-school hipsters. I'm sure living in this city probably exacerbated the whole life cycle.

Maybe part of the problem is that I am not fluent in hipster. What do I need to do in these events? Tone down the enthusiasm? Don't smile?

X: "Teresa ______."

Me: "Oh. Hey." Roll my eyes for good measure, through my Urban Outfitters-approved glasses, looking down at my arbitrary Apple product.

And then...

It'll probably proceed the same exact way. Mayyyybe I'll get invited to some hipster gathering, where I'll have to maintain absolute apathy while drinking PBR. I think I'm good.

So be my dorky, easily excitable self it is. :)

Matt Redman-I Will Offer Up My Life

You deserve my every breath
For you've paid the great cost
Giving up your life to death
Even death on a cross
You took all my shame away
There defeated my sin
Opened up the gates of heaven
And have beckoned me in

Jesus what can I give?
What can I bring?
To so faithful a friend, to so loving a king
Savior what can be said?
What can be sung
As a praise of your name, for the things you have done?

Oh my words could not tell
Not even in part
Of the debt of love that is owed by this thankful heart.

Random quote

"If you seek power before service, you'll neither get power, nor serve," he said. "If you seek to serve people more than to gain power, you will not only serve people, you will gain influence. That's very much the way Jesus did it." -quote by Tim Keller from 2006 NYT article

Homemade acupuncture

I had a gyro and fries today for lunch. As a side note, I live near a great Greek restaurant that has the best, most addicting, pungently garlic-y, perfectly creamy tzaziki sauce. It was so good though, that I unfortunately ate more than I should have, a lemon-seasoned fry and falafel too many.

Hence the indigestion I felt all day afterward.

It got really bad and nothing seemed to help--a walk, popping Pepto Bismol pills like candy, drinking water, elevating my feet (randomly found this online when looking for cures). Desperate, I remembered an old treatment that my mom used to administer: the mystical pricking of the thumb. I used to get stomachaches all the time as a kid, and this ALWAYS worked like a charm. Instantaneously, at that.

So, I sterilized a needle, cut off circulation to my left thumb, grit my teeth, and made a stab at the skin below my nail to cause bleeding.

Results? There was no sudden, definitive WOOSH of relief that I remembered accompanying this. I actually do feel a little better, but I can't tell if I'm just imagining this, because I definitely still feel some abdominal pressure, though not as bothersome.

Haha. Maybe I did this all wrong. Or maybe acupuncture is just one big placebo.

teresias05

In my many quests to procrastinate, I started thinking about AIM again. Yes, old school instant messenger. It used to be THE mode of communication back in the day--I suppose having someone's instant messenger name on your buddy list was the equivalent of being "friends" on facebook, in today's terms.

I've since moved on to gchat, though I don't use it much these days either. But out of curiosity, I signed on to my old instant messenger screen name account through meebo.com, which, incidentally, is shutting down in a week or so. I used to use that during my shifts when I worked at the library to avoid downloading the AIM program to the computers at the desk. Anyway, I was actually surprised that not a single person was online on my buddy list. Literally NO ONE uses the application anymore--for some reason I thought there would be one or two people still holding out, at the very least integrating AIM into gchat or something. Weird..

Also, going through the buddy lists were names that I no longer associate with people who are still my good friends (there were some silly names I'm dying to bring back lol), along with aliases that belong to people I truly can't remember anymore, and even more of people with whom I've lost touch.

There's definitely some cheesy metaphor for life in this, but rather than elaborating, I need to go study the kidney system.

Random pic of my communication of choice back in '05. Not associated with any of these screen names/people.

Orientation

Being on campus everyday has allowed me the experience of passing through/around/by hoards of incoming undergrad freshman during their orientations.

On one hand, I get nostalgic, observing these teenagers, remembering my own bright eyed, bushy-tailed self back then. I was so excited to be going to college, so hopeful of things to come. 25 was just a vague age, and sounded, frankly, old. Being undeclared, and not knowing where I would be beyond UVA had its youthful freedoms.

On the other hand, it's so corny! The school spirit, the enthusiasm underscoring the idea that college is the "best four years of your life" is cringeworthy. There is definitely life beyond graduation, little kids.

I'm a survivor

Done with pathology for the rest of my life! Not really. That fungal infection will probably pop up in my patients' mouths at some point or another. Not to mention the herps.

Praise God for getting me through this month. Officially a second year student. :) D2! Feels good to say after two years of being a first year.

Now, I just need to pass my boards in a couple weeks and it'll be summer vacation for moi..

Pleasantly surprised

It usually takes a while for me to warm up to people. Some longer than others, but given enough time and interaction, there's often a transition when someone stops being a stranger and it hits me that hey, I actually really like this person. He/she is pretty cool. Consequently, my internal shyness goes away. This has naturally happened in all of my friendships, mostly in a gradual process.

It's rarely a definitive moment, but I had one of those today.

Simple songs and coffee

Little pleasures of the day.

The Shins-Simple Song. I'm obsessed with this song today.

"I know things can really get rough, when you go it alone
Don't go thinking you gotta be tough, and play like a stone."

At first I was just in like (as opposed to in love) with the first verses melodically, but at this part, it turns into classic Shins at their best. I can't even handle it. Such a well crafted love song, but these two lines in particular resonate on a human level, no?

Homemade iced coffee! This is a useless picture, since you can't even see what I'm drinking, but trust me, it's a delicious concoction of coffee, milk, sugar, and ice ice baby. It makes me shake my head at myself for constantly paying $2 and change for this at Starbucks, though I like to think of the payment as an entrance fee for my hours upon hours of loitering.

w00t. Thank you God for music and cold beverages.

Swimming is not my forte

Every time it's offered, I've signed up for an exercise program through the gym. The incentive for completion is a free t-shirt, but more than the prize, the project helps me to be motivated to stay active. The requirements are not so difficult that I ever feel seriously tempted to give up, and knowing that there's someone that I'm reporting my numbers to at the beginning of each week keeps me focused.

It consists of:

112 miles of cycling

154 meters of swimming

26.2 miles of running

over 8 weeks (or 4 for the ambitious, and 12 for the not so ambitious).

There is a rowing replacement for non-swimmers, and I chose to do that last semester, but to be honest, it made the whole program a little too easy. I like a tiny challenge, so swimming it is.

Except it's easily the most difficult for me of the three. I'm starting to get into an exercise groove, and while it's like I never took a break from running or cycling, there's a steep learning curve for swimming. A few reasons: I haven't swum since last fall, while I've ran/biked more recently; there's no music when I swim so it's boring; I never properly learned how to swim efficiently, despite lessons as a child?

It's a mental battle to get through a mere 30 lengths a session. 

But I always get there. No matter how much I want to stop, I keep going until I reach my goal.

Perhaps this discipline will strengthen me, both physically and whenever I hit other life obstacles.

Saving up my sleeps

For my 8:00am class, I try to get up at 6:30am every morning so that I have time to get ready, eat breakfast, briefly read the Bible. However, my body naturally feels rested after about 8 hours of sleep. It's so frustrating though, because I get up early but then I get really really tired in the afternoon. I used to nap, but today I forced myself to stay awake so that I can just go to bed by 10:30pm.

But of course, I can't sleep. :(

God answers prayers

For most of my childhood, I was a chubby kid. I didn't necessarily see this in myself (and I thank God, otherwise I might have had serious body image issues in adolescence), but from the teasing and comments that others made, it was obviously an undesirable trait. So what did I, who learned that God answers prayers, do? I prayed about it. I wasn't sure how he was going to fix this, but I still prayed that something would happen.

Guess what-I turned 12, had a growth spurt, and all my baby fat went away. Again, I wasn't conscious of the change as it occurred, but I remember being inundated for a while with questions on how I lost weight.

This is truly a God-answered prayer, and to this day I credit him for responding to such a simple, relatively shallow prayer request. It's a funny one, but it also reminds me that God answers prayers in ways that I don't expect. As an 8-year-old, I had no idea about puberty-induced growth spurts. But God did. haha.. I can't believe I'm talking about this on here. All glory to God. :)

So yeah. I think that episode tells me that it's ok to ask for what I truly want. But God may answer in a pretty unexpected, crazy way.

School reached out with its claws and drew me back in.

After a week of summer vacation, I am back in school for a month. On top of this, I scheduled to take my boards (national standard test for licensure, part 1) July 9. This means that for the next month and some change, I'll be studying hardcore like never before!

My daily life until July 9, compartmentalized. At least it's pretty to look at:

This first week back, I kind of got "Study" and "Misc" mixed up a lot, so learning about pathology has often turned into nap time, blogging time, etc. Adjustment period. :) But at the same time, I'm going try to fit in some breaks/fun whenever I can. Because it's summer! And I refuse to be burnt out. Life is more than academics, even though I need to prioritize it for the time being.

Rest

Sleeping at Last-From the Ground Up

Do payphones still exist? And the end of the school year

I hate 99% of pop radio music. Actually, that's a lie. I actively dislike about a quarter of it (enough to switch the station), tolerate more than half, and get addicted to only 2-3 songs at a time. Though usually, these songs get so played out that I can't stand listening to them anymore, or they just get "old", and are buried underneath another pile of new, unceasingly awful tunes.

But one song I'm kinda feeling is Maroon 5's "Payphone". It's catchy. This, and that "Call Me Maybe" song.

Hey, we all have our musical guilty pleasures. :)

Anyway, that's what I'm listening to as I type. I cleaned out my bench table in lab today. It was oddly reminiscent of high school, emptying out my locker at the end of the year with a sense of tangible finality. The humid heat, promising summer, as I left this afternoon heightened the similarities.

It felt good. Seeing the drawers that used to hold all my dental supplies completely devoid of any trace of my presence suggested symbolism: I survived the year. I made it through.

I just have one more competency tomorrow.. hope I pass!

Wonder

This just earned itself a place on my list of favorites. A rare gem. I don't remember a book that made me cry this much, especially so early on.

It breaks my heart when kids are robbed of a carefree childhood. It's just not fair.

But that Auggie.. he truly is a wonder. Did not expect a little fifth grade boy to change me, to teach me about life today, but he did.

As an aside, I felt so old, reading about the teachers, parents, and students communicating through texts and emails. Googling and Facebooking. When I was in fifth grade, internet was still a relatively newfangled concept! I don't even think I knew anyone who owned a cell phone, let alone have one myself. The idea of texting would have blown my mind!

"Everyone in the world should get a standing ovation at least once in their life because we all overcometh the world." -August Pullman

First patient

Saw my first patient today. It was somewhat anti-climactical for a few reasons. I don't even want to talk about it, but this is another milestone I feel like I should note for posterity's sake.

Sigh

It's been a tumultuous few days. I always feel so dumb coming back to the same realization time and time again (like WHY can't I remember?! -__-), but nevertheless: I need Jesus. As much as I think I can do everything on my own, the truth is I can't. He is my strength and purpose. I pray that these experiences teach me, mold me, shape me to be more like him.

Take that, Chipotle

Lunch for today was tacos: chili-spiced shrimp, black beans, cheese, and homemade salsa wrapped in a soft corn tortilla. Yumm...

Disclaimer: Just kidding, Chipotle! I could never turn my back on you.. even if I can make a mean taco from time to time.

Public transportation & NPR

A bit of bad news: my beloved old car seems to be on his (Yes. His name is Milo, for the record) last few years of life. I was driving home from school last week, and one of the stick shift gears completely stopped working. A couple days later, all of the gears broke. I decided to repair the problem, since I need something to drive until I can get a new car, but this left me car-less while Milo got some TLC.

Thus, in the meantime, I used public transportation (aka city bus) to get to school for the past few days. I have never ridden on it before, but it has its benefits. First, it's free to full-time students here, and secondly, it's actually pretty fast. I think I arrived at school more quickly than I ever have driving, which consists of fighting morning traffic to get to the parking lot, trying to find a parking spot, and walking 10 more minutes uphill to my class--typically a 30-40 minute commute.

So instead of getting to school all frazzled, I've come in relatively relaxed. I simply walk to the bus stop which is luxuriously right across the street from my apt, wait, get on the bus, wait, get off the bus and then walk a short distance. It's a lot of sitting around, and to pass the time..

I started listening to public radio's This American Life via podcast. This segment is AMAZING, people! I'm hooked. The themes are so random, but somehow it's written in a way that draws me in.

For example, I just listened to one titled, "Take the Money and Run for Office", about how politicians fundraise and how money is turned over in Washington. This is a topic that I normally would have absolutely no interest in, but I kid you not, by the end of the story I was shaking my head and indignant, saying "this ain't right", like I was directly in the line of fire of corruption going on.. even though 30 minutes prior I had no idea it was even an issue! haha. So I've found that TAL is a good way of stepping into other, real life people's shoes for a bit.

I just picked up Milo from the shop, good as new (sort of), so it's back to my regular routine, but it's been an interesting week.

Grateful Tuesday

Today, I was going to school when I realized that I forgot my wallet and didn't bring any food for lunch. I had a huge test in the afternoon, and was planning to stay late to get some other lab work done afterward, so I was slightly concerned how I was going to make it till 6pm. For some reason, I'm especially adamant about making sure I eat before taking a test.. like my blood sugar level is going to make or break my grade. Anyway, so I threw out a prayer, asking for provision and help with my exam.

I actually didn't get to eat before my test, but thankfully it went well anyway. :) But afterward, I had an hour to kill, and my friends happened to be heading over to lunch the same time I called them. They graciously picked me up and spotted me a yummy sandwich, and I went back to lab and finished a good chunk of assignments I was behind on.

So yes.. God provides. Thankful for my education, for food, for friends. Thank you!

March madness

Animal Kingdom-Strange Attractor. This song reeks of summer nights. They are just around the corner...

Happy Friday. Happy last couple of days of spring break. Happy VCU basketball win this weekend? UVA?

Happy.

Better days to come

I'm sitting on my balcony for the first time since living at this apartment. So, it's taken me about 2 years to really enjoy it. Granted, it is littered with feathers from the birds flocking around and it is in need of a good sweeping, but in this moment, those are of little importance.

A really bad picture of the view from my balcony. I felt a lil weird holding up my laptop at oncoming traffic so it was one, two, three, click and done.

It's a little past 7:30pm and the sun has just officially set, thanks to my good friend, Daylight Savings. Balmy weather. A good mix of music playing. The town is a little quieter today, a little less crowded because of all the kids on spring break. I was initially supposed to go with them, but at the last minute decided to stay another night.

It's so peaceful. And makes this city seem almost.. bearable?

I haven't been myself lately. Deep deep down there's this carefree, joyful me waiting to blossom!

And her time is now. I'm claiming it. I can't control my circumstances, but I sure as anything will do my best to stop this negativity floating around in my head.

God, keep me and strengthen me.

Asians with blonde hair

I just caught the finale of one of my favorite shows, Top Chef. What does this have to do with the title of this blog? This episode briefly showed the girlfriend of the one of the contestant's, an Asian girl... with blonde hair. She was making it work! It was so chic and good-weird, as opposed to bad, in-your-face-whether-you-like-it-or-not weird. Which reminded me of this image...

2ne1's Lonely video

So this isn't really that unusual of a trend, and I've seen it done before, but that 2ne1 video over the summer last year was the first time that I really thought it looked good, and wanted to try it! Seeing that girl on TC today reminded me of my desires for crazy blonde locks, especially because she's rocking it stateside. Gives me more confidence that it can work here. Maybe I'll get the guts to go through with it someday.. I told a couple of people about my ideas since its inception in my head, and surprisingly, they say they can see me with it lol. On the other hand, do I really want to induce more damage to my hair? And I imagine upkeep would be ridiculous... constant root touch-ups with my dark as night hair... don't have the time for that.

Stumbling on Happiness

I have no idea what this says about me, but lately I prefer reading non-fiction to fiction. This was the exact opposite a few years ago. Maybe I've become disillusioned to storytelling after reading one too many bad novels (ie Twilight series -_-). Or got especially hooked on Malcolm Gladwell's fact-ridden anecdotes. Who knows.

Currently reading: Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert.

I read about it somewhere, and it had good reviews on Amazon, so I checked it out a la biblioteca. It doesn't seem so much self-help than an exploration of how humans work. Hopefully it'll be an interesting read.

Belted cardigans

One fashion pet peeve I have is when people belt their open cardigans!

J. Crew

It's supposed to "accentuate the waistline", but in doing so, makes the front look frumpy. Look how the material puffs out of the belt, and the fact that it's unbuttoned makes it appear unstable, as if the cardigan is about to shift out of the belt, or backwards, unflatteringly. Also, it takes away the functionality of the cardigan itself. Maybe that's my fundamental problem with this.. I dislike it when clothes have fake, sewn-on buttons or pockets that don't work, etc. If you're going to wear it, it needs to be able to do its job 100% whether you plan to use it or not! Basically, I hate that the cardigan looks trapped when it wants to be free as a little bird.

dailylook.com

Much better. I suppose this is more of a blazer that has some structure, which isn't a good comparison to a cardigan, so...

dailylook.com

Still better than belting it.

Aaaaaaaand so ends my fleeting study break.

Should tip reflect service?

I went out for dinner tonight to a sushi restaurant with a $3/roll happy hour on Wednesdays. I was looking forward to the meal, but didn't expect too much from the quality since it was so cheap. It turned out to be just ok, exactly how I thought it would. However, service was subpar. The place was not even close to being full (maybe 5 tables were occupied), and there were 2 servers, both who were pretty inattentive. My table waited close to 40 minutes before our food came out (after waiting for a while for someone to seat us), and I literally had to get up and wave down a waitress to ask for something after trying to make eye contact/get her attention for several minutes. I would have been more forgiving if the restaurant was packed and the waitress actually cared about her job, but again, neither were the case.

So my question: should tip be an indication of poor/fantastic service? I feel like in cases of great service, sure. But what about the opposite? Is it flat out wrong to go below 15-20% of the bill, no matter how bad the server?

I ended up giving 15% even though I didn't feel like it. Granted, my experience wasn't absolutely horrible.. ie the waitress wasn't rude nor offensive, but it made me think about tipping as a requirement vs. an optional commission of sorts.

Quarter life crisis

Corinne Bailey Rae-The Sea. Makes me sad, in a good way.

I've had a few heart to hearts with my dear friends lately, and it seems like we're all going through similar life "milestones". Mostly just not being exactly where we want to be yet, whether that's location/occupation/what have you, and while we're on our way, for the time being it's just hanging in there from day to day. I suspect we're not alone.

Mid-20s is so limbo.

I have to say that I am incredibly blessed with good sisters. I've been kind of numb these days, and taking a lot for granted, but this weekend I was reminded especially of how much God has provided in terms of people who care and whom I care about. Thankful.

3 years and some change

Days like this.. make me especially anxious to get out of this city. I can't wait to leave and start anew somewhere else.

Figuring out my learning style

I'm horrible, horrible, horrible some more, and then BAM something clicks, and I get it. Then I gain confidence, and with the practice, I do alright.

It doesn't seem to be a gradual process for me, as would be expected. One day I suck, and the next is smooth sailing.

This is important to know, because I tend to accept that I'm no good too prematurely. I think I'm always going to stay at the same level, when competence is just around the bend. Understanding how I work is helping me to not give up!

How this ties into dental school (because all my posts tie into dental school, obviously): I've been struggling with working with composite since the beginning of the semester, and I've been getting pretty frustrated as of late. This one faculty showed me the techniques like 384378 times and yet, I still felt incapable of working with it on my own. Like it would look like a perfect little tooth when the faculty did it, and then when I tried, it looked like a big fat ugly scratched up ice cube lol. Anyway, I worked my little paws off even as of yesterday without much success, but today dun dun dun! The composite had the resemblance of a shiny front tooth (#9). Not perfect, but I feel like I got the hang of it! And with that, I feel a bit more confident about next week's competency.

This can also apply to some hobbies I'm thinking of getting back into: tennis, knitting, guitar (if I can get a hold of one), and my new interest in Spanish. I'm subpar at best in all of these, but maybe I'll try again.

Kinda crushin

Big Phony. Stumbled across this guy's music today. I dig it. Too bad I didn't know about this earlier, because apparently he was playing shows in Seoul last summer while I was there. And yea.. he is one haircut away from kinda crushin to totally crushin. Just say no to curtain hair.

Special kind of homework

My makeshift laboratory, in the kitchen. The gas stove is my ghetto bunsen burner. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!

Mostly, this is happening because I did not haul myself to (school) lab this week like I should have. -__-

Calling it a night. Resuming tomorrow morning.

Living in a paperless world

I've always been a big fan of paper schedulers, and handwriting my to-do lists, but I'm just now realizing the streamlining power that is Google Calendars. I've mostly just used it to track my classes, since I'm linked to the public calendar set up for our class, but because I've become so dependent on it lately, I decided to add a few non-school items as well. I can actually see myself easily transitioning to using this as my primary calendar..

Plus, color coding FTW.

The one con I do see is that with paper, it's not only for scheduling, it is also for scrap paper.. jotting down grocery lists, random company's phone numbers, mailing addresses, etc. With an "e-calendar", if you will, I can't just bust it out in the middle of Kroger or something.. I suppose the answer is in getting a smartphone, but that's another story. I guess I'm just an old-fashioned girl living in a high tech world hehe

A peek at my week:

The Secret World of Arrietty

I'm usually not into cartoons. I can appreciate a good Pixar movie every now and then, but I'd rather watch stories involving real life people/actors. However, I just saw a preview for The Secret World of Arrietty, and it looks really good! It's now on my "to-watch" list.

Wake up call

I had a competency today on composite restorations-common, non-metal fillings. I did average, neither horrible nor exceptionally well. This correlates to the amount of work I put in; ie did not work as hard as I could have/should have, but for some reason I got in it my head that I didn't need to practice too much and could "wing it". Don't know who I was kidding.. lesson learned.

Though I understand I deserved what I got, I really wanted, and even kind of expected a great grade today. But because that didn't happen, I'm now super motivated to work harder this semester.. been slacking off a lot lately. So at least something good came out of this?

This city is not nerd friendly

The biggest gripe I have about being a student where I live is that there are barely any options for studying later into the evening. EVERYTHING closes at 9, and the places that don't (and I can only think of literally 2 examples) are either farther than I would like to drive and/or unappealing.

I truly miss the days when I could walk/bus/take a short drive to the libraries in undergrad, and could take my pick depending on the level of nerdiness I was feeling. The luxury life...

Now I'm scrambling, calling all the Starbucks in my area trying to find a joint that stays open for another couple of hours. Newsflash. There are none.

So here I am, blogging instead of studying, in my room, doing exactly what I tried to avoid by getting out of the apartment.

La di da...

Just say no

To t-shirts!

My ridiculous t-shirt collection

There was once a time when I was a t-shirt fiend. If it fit the criteria 1. cute, 2. free, or 3. basically had any resemblance of a t-shirt, I wanted it! And now I face the consequence of my overindulgence: more shirts than I know what to do with. Although I never run low on clothes to work out in, I suppose I would have to work out at some point in order to use them..

So if I'm going to make any last minute new year's resolutions, this is probably the only one: no more t-shirts! I don't care how cute, or how free, or how much it looks like a t-shirt, I can't accept it.

Except.. I just signed up for an exercise program (in order to combat the aforementioned lack thereof in my life), and the prize at the end is... a free t-shirt. Ha.. 

Okay, that will be my ONLY exception.. then back to a t-shirt free life!

Happy New Year, part deux

Bye bye, year of the rabbit.. confession: a little part of me thought that this would be the BEST YEAR EVER, and while it was a good year filled with tons of blessings, I can't say it was the BEST out of the 24 years I've lived. But that's ok. :) Hi dragon!

Anyway, I actually celebrated Vietnamese style today.. went to a friend's house and ate. And ate. And ate. Ugh so full.. but it was all so good!

Sigur Rós

Inní Mér Syngur Vitleysingur. Happy, Icelandic music. Thanks for bringing it up today, Pandora.

Sæglópur was my ringtone on my old phone. I loved this song! Oh my goodness.. even listening to it now gives me Pavlovian reflexes to go look for my phone.

Music transcends language.

Another milestone

Today we (D1s) did our first local anesthesia injections!

Not going to lie, I was pretty nervous about it. I'd like to thank Youtube for the videos I watched to prepare. :) But I got through it.. it was easier than expected, but I still felt bad for my classmate, who graciously endured through my noob injections.

Some pics:

My first patient!

Giving the injection.. trying not to mess up..

Yay! Successful team!

Slowly getting one step closer to becoming a dentist!