A couple more hours to go

Bon Iver-Michicant

Bon Iver can do no wrong as far as I'm concerned. Though I'm not in much of a ringing in the new year mood, this song sets the tone perfectly for me. Reflective of the year past, and quietly, peacefully entering the new.

When it comes down to it, all I can be is thankful.

Purge

I finally gathered up the energy and mental strength to clean out my childhood bedroom.

It's still a mess, but step one for me was to donate items that I no longer use or have outgrown, but are still usable.

This was mostly clothes, but I also gave away a huge trunkful of old books that I used to read.

I'm kinda sad about the books now. Earlier, I was excited about getting rid of all the clutter in my life, but the sentimental value of my former possessions is hitting me. I hope that they'll be well used and taken care of..

Meh. I'll get over it. If I don't think about it too much.

Farewell 2011

It's been a long year. It's funny how some years, I'll say "I can't believe it's already the new year!" but this time, January 2011 seems like eons ago. I could barely remember what I did back then, but after my yearly rummage through journal entries, it all came flooding back to me..

January
2011 started off ROUGH. A lot of insecurities manifested in me while dealing with school and work related stress.. I actually forgot that I worked this year until now. Being a dental assistant seems like a long time ago, or one of those things that I think "did I really do that?"

February
Still did not catch a break.. I'm sure that the winter season did not help, but I sunk into this depression that was again, partially work and school related.

"it's hard to talk about it with people, because they already know i've been "meh" since coming to richmond.. i'm afraid they'll just think it's just another shade of feeling the same.."

I didn't really talk to people about this, but I remember praying a lot this month. Looking back, I wonder if getting me to talk to God and depend on him again was the point.

March
A better month.. I went on a trip to Miami with two of my very good friends, so how could it not? :) And overall just mixing it up a little in my life..

April
Slugged through school and work, and entertained ideas of going to Korea and other opportunities.

May
With a sigh of relief, finished my D.5 year, bought a plane ticket to the motherland, and started wrapping up things at work.

June
Korea! I've exhausted this trip in this blog, but that month I got reacquainted with family members, and did a lot of touring and exploring with my mom.

July
Taught English for a couple of weeks. This is yet another gig where I'm like "was that for real?" I've had a lot of interesting jobs in my day. :)

August
Started D1 year. Sawed through body parts.

September-December
For now, a blur. The highlights, if any, will probably be more clear as the dust of my memory settles, but all I remember for now is studying a lot and testing a lot. And getting my bearings in school, but I still feel like I'm doing that. Actually, I did take a spontaneous trip to NYC a couple of weeks ago, and my little brother graduated this month so I suppose those are December's recap.

Around this time last year, 2011 was mostly a question mark. Beyond spring semester, I didn't know what I would be doing in the summer, or what dental school would officially be like. 2012 appears to be more predictable in those respects.. not to mention the looming end of the world in December.. just kidding.. or am I... hehe.

Season's greetings to all!

1 down, 7 to go

My first official semester of dental school is over.

The semester started off rocky. I was tense, anxious. As of right now, I feel comfortable. Neither hating nor loving school. I think I enjoy dentistry, but the unnecessary hoops that school makes me jump through, and the high school-esque atmosphere it harbors are things that I could live without.

Next semester seems daunting.. January 3 until mid-May. And then summer school right after. Then boards after that.

Guess I gotta get my rest while I can.

One more night until liberation..

Currently reading. Being the impatient cheapo that I am, going through chapters in between studying at Barnes and Noble. Actually, cheapo is uncalled for in this case.. I just dislike buying books that aren't favorites.

Reads just like Tina Fey's Bossypants, but I prefer this. It's more youthful and less jaded, but like Tina's, has the right amount of hilarious nerdy uncoolness that I totally get. :)

Afternoon study tunes

What! Kristy from the Babysitters' Club movie (one of my faves as a kid.. ain't no shame), at least the actress who played her, went to UVA and makes good music!

Schuyler Fisk-Hello

Go figure.

Maybe the key to happiness

is no sleep?

I am currently running on 2 hours of sleep in the past 36 hours, but I still say it was a good day. Took my test, finished lab for the semester!!!, ate lunch with my brother, gym, friend's graduation, out on the town! Because of my lack of sleep, everything was funny or pleasant. I just felt loosey goosey all day. I am still loosey goosey. But I am quickly crashing.. need to sleep and be energized for tomorrow!

Things I dislike

-That song "Falling Slowly" from that movie Once. The movie too, for that matter.
-When people spell "lose", "loose"! They are two different words, with two different meanings! They aren't even pronounced the same! It's one thing when it's done casually, but I don't know how many supposedly professional documents, power points, signs, etc. I've seen this happen in. Don't get it twisted!

That's all for now. More to come if I get bored again from studying. Finals 2011 y'all!

Busting out the winter clothes

From the Scotch & Soda lookbook. I am hearting each of these outfits! I'm especially drawn to the pops of red in those couple of photos.. currently one of my favorite colors. The layering is impeccable as well. Inspired.

Snacktime

One snack that I got really into this year was 꼬깔콘/kkokkal corn. I think it's essentially the same thing as American Bugles, but I haven't had Bugles for years so I can't accurately compare. I've known about these and eaten them since I was little, but for some reason they made a huge comeback in my life, out of all the snacks there are out there. And YES the kind matters.. I always get the 군옥수수/"barbecue" flavor. So good.. I try not to buy/eat chips, etc. because I have no self-control, and when it comes these, well, I have no self-control. There have been many a times when I gobble down the whole bag in one sitting. :( The small kind though!

And how are these eaten? With molars! Which I should be studying about at the moment. Test tomorrow!

Overheard at the gym

While walking up the stairs at the gym, I got caught behind a couple of guys.
Guy: *saying something odd about girls*
*pause*
Guy: There's totally a chick behind me isn't there.
Friend: Yep.
Guy: You're a horrible friend. I can't believe you just let me ramble on like that.

HAHA. I tried to keep a straight face, but didn't work.

Happy first full week of December!

Looking forward to hearing "I hate the dentist" 93874398 times..

10 reasons why your dentist probably hates you too.

A classmate sent this blog post to our class.. just a humorous rant about what this former dentist wishes she could have said to her patients sometimes.

What struck me most about reading this was that the author mentioned that she left her career as a dentist and is now doing something else. Out of curiosity, I tried to learn more about why she decided not to continue practicing. I found another post where she states, "It’s been 10 years of thinking, 'it will get better,' or, 'I just need more experience,' or, 'maybe it’s the job and not the career.' It’s been filled with ups and downs of trying to make it work while simply wanting to give up. There were moments of clarity when I knew it wasn’t my match. There were other moments of clarity brought on by the few precious experiences that made me smile at the end of a day– only resulting in utter confusion. And ultimately I was left feeling defeated because I almost always felt like I was not myself."

In my undergrad days of praying, "soul-searching", and figuring out what I wanted to do with my life, my biggest concern about going into dentistry was that I would grow to resent this field, or fall out of love with it, or realize that it's not for me at all. Even at age 20 I knew that I was young and clueless, and picking a career path could very well be the equivalent of drawing it out of a hat.

I don't know. I guess I keep searching for personal confirmation that I'm in the right place. Perhaps it's pure naivety, but I'm looking forward to being a dentist. The thought of seeing my first patient excites me. In other words, I don't identify with this writer at all, which I'm taking as a good sign.

And if I'm wrong, it's comforting to know that it's possible to get out of the business. :) Just saying..

Back to reality

Went into serious hibernation mode when I went home for break... I think I'm tired.

Realizing once again what I should have already known. I can't do things on my own..

Drama with my mama

Nothing like coming home and watching K-dramas with my mommy! About once a year I get a huge craving for a drama to get sucked into, so I guess this one is 2011's. Afterward, I'm so emotionally drained that I can't even think about watching another one for a few months.. but it seems like there are at least a few other good ones currently out right now. We'll see how I feel after this.

Home

Of Monsters and Men-Little Talks. Just a little ditty I heard on my way to home sweet home. Happy day before Thanksgiving!

Makeup remover product review

I recently noticed I've been running low on my current make-up remover:

L'Oreal Clean Artiste make-up remover

and my reaction was of relief.. because I can FINALLY move on to another brand. Honestly, this is the worst MUR ever! I used to use its sister, the non-"Clean Artiste" regular L'Oreal MUR which worked ok, and thought that this would be an upgrade, but no. No no no. All it does is dissolve eye make-up into oil, and when I try to wipe it off, smears it all over my face. At night, I just want to take off my make-up, wash my face, and go to bed asap. Instead, I have to deal with an oily, eyeliner/mascara-induced mess! And even when I allegedly wipe it all off (after way too many cotton balls), and wash/dry my face, I still get make-up residue on my towel. Not cool, man.

So I switched. To this:

Neutrogena make-up remover

I've only used it once so far, but I will say it's better than the former (though the bar is set pretty low). It still has a smearing effect, but clean-up is a lot easier. It picked up almost all of the residue from my eyeliner, but I still didn't feel completely clean. All in all, it just seems like a slightly better version of the L'Oreal. Not completely satisfied.. maybe it'll change my mind in time.

I had the chance to use my friend's Clinique MUR once, and that seems to be the gold standard for me.. at least I know that quality ones exist! One swipe on the eye with a cotton pad, and it picked up every little bit of make-up. No fuss, no muss. However, it costs a pretty penny (look it up, M! :P).. I might invest in it anyway though if my frustrations keep up.

My quest for good, cheap make-up remover continues!

Perfect weather

I planned to stay indoors today, but it so happened that it was 70 degrees in the afternoon! I couldn't let that go to waste, so I ended up going for a run. The weather was gorgeous. I regretted having to go back inside.

When I run, I stop thinking. I just go. When my mind goes a mile a minute, running helps to shut that voice up for a while.

But it's afterward, as I walk to cool down, that I do my best thinking. A moment of clarity and peace. I haven't had one of those sessions in a while, so it was nice. Especially with the warm, spring-like air.

The art of losing myself.

Kashi pizzas

I love pizza. I'll eat any kind any time, but I do have a taste for good, quality ones. This started in college when my eyes were opened to pizza beyond chain restaurants. I believe that the pizza in Charlottesville is severely underrated.. Christian's, Vita Nova (SO UNDERRATED), Mellow Mushroom. I crave them all on a regular basis. I'm more of a crunchy, thin-crust eater, with only a couple toppings, so Christian's/Vita Nova steal my heart. There are a few places I've tried in Richmond, and they're ok, but they just do not compare to these two.

So I'm a bit of a pizza foodie. And at the bottom of the ranks is frozen pizza. However, my mom randomly bought a Kashi pie one day a few weeks ago, and so I had the chance to try it. And let me tell you, this is quality frozen pizza. If you bake it directly on the oven rack, the crust becomes a crispy that slightly resembles my favorite places' ones. Plus it's (kinda) healthy! So I've been obsessed with these lately.. my favorite is roasted vegetable.

I seriously should get paid for this advertising... but it's so good! Quick, cheap (well cheaper than going out to eat, but more expensive than other frozen pizzas), has some sort of nutritional value.. dental student's best friend. At least this dental student.

Daunting week

I think this upcoming week will be the most challenging for me so far. I honestly cannot wait until Thursday evening.. as far as I'm concerned, it'll be the start of Thanksgiving break. School next week? What ever do you mean?

GET PUMPED! M83/Kanye West-Midnight City/Good Life mashup

Just a crazy post from a crazy girl.

Weird place

I had a few opportunities from friends to go out and about this weekend, but I turned down every single one in the name of studying. Yet I'm still procrastinating.. I hate this. I'd rather work really hard and then be free to go hang out, but I'm stuck in this limbo of neither work nor play. Bah.

Part of my day was spent re-reading Donald Miller's Blue Like Jazz. I found, and consequently bought, a copy at a thrift store last weekend for 50 cents, so I've been sporadically picking it up to read this week. I'm identifying with it in ways that I didn't when I first went through it, and it's just reminding me of God's great love for me. Like his desperate love for me.

Closing the door on cadavers

Today I went to the interment ceremony for the cadavers we dissected in Gross Anatomy earlier this year (seems like AGES ago). For some reason I felt compelled to go, even though it was an optional event. I debated with myself for a while, since I'm usually reluctant to go out of my way for functions outside of school, but I'm glad I went. Very thankful to those that gave up their bodies so that we could learn.

In other news, I lost my phone at the ceremony but a good Samaritan picked it up. The last person I happened to call was a classmate, so Samaritan called my classmate, who went back and got my phone for me. Thankful!

And I think those are the highlights of the day. Oh I went to spinning class today.. went 16 miles.. coulda done more but I had to go pick up my phone.

It is written.

I'm behind in some of my classes, so I took work home. Watched Slumdog Millionaire while carving, which I haven't seen in a couple of years... I forgot how GOOD it is!!!!!! Such an epic movie with a sweet ending. Makes me smile.

I feel like a booger

This is exactly me today. I feel gross, and mucus-y. Dizzy and lightheaded. I'm cranky and want to be left alone. Just generally unpleasant, thanks to this cold I've been harboring.

But thank you, chocolate covered pretzels, for being on sale today and being a wonderful complement to the copious amounts of tea I've been drowning myself in.

I'm just going to go ahead and say it

I don't like dancing! It's not even like I secretly like it but I'm insecure about my moves (believe me, I know it's not pretty), I really just don't enjoy it. Even when I'm by myself I rarely, if ever, have any urge to get up and bust a move. Of course, I can't live life avoiding all dancing (maybe I should have lived in the Footloose town), so I can comfortably do an awkward sway/wave my hands jig, but that's about it.

I just came back from salsa dancing.. someone tried to teach me but no dice. The steps are logically not that hard, but for someone with absolutely no coordination, I was a mess. It wouldn't matter, just as long as it was fun, but nope. No fun was had. HAHA.

PS I think I have a cold but body aches are gone! So no bedrest needed.

Sick?

My throat is sore and my body feels like it got hit by a truck. I don't have a thermometer but my face is subjectively warm.

It all started yesterday in my afternoon class. I kept falling asleep during lecture (normal; no reason for concern) and afterward, when I was in the lab, my fatigue did not go away. I felt so spacey and lethargic even though I slept enough the night before and had my daily coffee fix. Halfway through, I just got up and started wandering slowly to the bathroom and around the classroom even though I'm usually good about focusing on my work during class time.. my bench table neighbors were like "um are you ok?".. "rough week huh?"

Yesterday I just figured I was having an off day, but judging by the way I feel right now, the clues point to infection infesting my poor body. Eek. Come ON immune system, do your thang!

I have a test tomorrow, so the show must go on tonight, but come tomorrow afternoon, it's bedrest for me. Unless I miraculously feel better.

Halloween weekend

I had a test and a practical today. Super thankful that they went alright, considering I played all weekend, which I have somewhat documented!

Met up with my very good friend M for lunch on Saturday.. I haven't seen her in a long time so it was a happy reunion. :) Also, it was straight up snowing that day! In October! I tried to take a pic of us in it, but it's not really visible here. Oh well.

Later, I met up with some buddies and we tried to celebrate Halloween. I was supposed to be a doll of some sort?

And yeah.. let me keep it real and say that recent pics have reminded me that I need to go get my teeth bleached! haha. Too much coffee en mi diet. Yay for dental school discounts.

Long day

Today I spent 8 hours in lab. 4 hours in Operative, cutting preparations on teeth, and 4 in Dental Anatomy for a competency where I had to carve a tooth out of a block of wax.

By the end of the day, I was TIRED. My hand was cramped from carving, and sitting for such a long time is surprisingly exhausting. But, a funny realization occurred: I enjoy this. I think it's especially telling that I like the work, despite the fact that I still feel mediocre at what I do.

To be honest, at this point, even if I hated dental school, I wouldn't quit. I'm too far into this, I worked too hard to get here. Some people, ie of the "life's too short to not be happy" school of thought, may disagree with this hypothetical decision, but it's such a relief to know that so far, I think I'm in the right place.

I wish I were going to Disneyland today..

Such a cute video! Made me tear up.

Weekend full of love

Went to my old friends' wedding this weekend. It was a beautiful ceremony.. whimsical, sweet, and intimate. Congratulations, Y & A!

Local Natives-Wide Eyes

Love, love, love.

Flawed logic

"I know what you’re thinking: I’m a pushover. I’m weak and scared and would put up with anything to keep the family together. I’m probably one of those women who would endure physical abuse. But I can assure you, I’m not. I load 1,500-pound horses into trailers and gallop through the high country of Montana all summer. I went through Pitocin-induced natural childbirth. And a Caesarean section without follow-up drugs. I am handy with a chain saw."

-from a NYT article about how one woman dealt with her marriage in crisis. Random reading material.

Isn't her logic flawed though? Just because one is physically strong does not necessarily mean she is emotionally strong.

Color combinations

I tend to wear strong and/or neutral colors. Especially since it's fall, which kind of demands it. Pastels, like the Easter egg variety (light blues, purples, pinks, etc.), kind of scare me. I was thinking about color combinations, and it occurred to me that I really like the idea of maroon and olive green together.



You're feeling me, right? Right?! I think people get scared off because it's embedded in our minds that red and green together equal "Christmas colors", but the key is how they are approached.

First, shade. Even I would agree that bright hues of either will scream "I'm Santa's little helper! Let me roll up in here on this reindeer!", but when toned down, they're not bad. Secondly, how they are worn. Good color blocking with separates. I have an Army green anorak that I adore. I wear it with everything! I can see a maroon knit scarf pairing nicely with it, or a thinly-striped thermal.

So yeah. If this takes off as a trend, you heard it here first. :) If not, then Christmas is just 2 months away!

On being left-handed

As a little Asian girl, being left-handed was always a point of surprise to many people; namely, Korean adults that thought it was weird or flat-out wrong. Even my mom briefly thought about training me to have the standard right-handedness.

Growing up, the issue became inconsequential. I adjusted to our right-handed world, it became more acceptable to be left-handed, and it was just no big deal.

However, I just HAD to choose a profession where handedness matters, to a certain degree. Out of 96 people in my class, only 4 of us are southpaws. Today, we were working on one of the lower right teeth, which is relatively comfortable for most of my classmates. I was struggling. Not playing the blame game because I def have a lot to practice and learn regardless, but I realized that part of the reason was because I had trouble positioning my dominant hand in the mouth.  It wasn't until I talked to another left-handed classmate, who had some difficulty as well, that this clicked. Had we been assigned a lower left tooth (and we probably will be at some point), it would have been easier.

Anyway. I like being left-handed. Adds to what makes me special! :P

I think I'll try defying gravity

Saw Wicked last night. It was a spur of the moment decision to go-I got a text earlier in the day from a friend who happened to have an extra ticket, and I jumped at the chance to see it. As with everything else that is wildly popular, I was skeptical that this would live up to its hype, but hoped that it would. I am happy to report that it was every bit as AMAZING as it should have been.

Upon coming home from the show, I immediately listened to several of the tracks (thanks Youtube). However, I'm seeing that like Shakespeare, whose works are often read solely for literary value, songs from musicals are meant for performance. The magic that left me in awe in the theater isn't quite replicated in the recordings. I liked "Defying Gravity" before seeing Wicked, but it's like living in a 2-D world and all of a sudden discovering a 3rd dimension. I see that I was missing out!

Lastly, this play resonated with me because, and maybe it's a complex that I just need to get over, I, too have often felt like the misfit. Little Miss Misunderstood, in so many ways. And I think this musical is for those whose truths have gone beyond what meets the eye.

Operative!

We started the lab part of Operative today. Basically making restorative/amalgam preps (drilling) on fake teeth. This is what lab looks like, and what I did all day.. sitting at my work station with my mannequin. Since I'm a lefty, I'm on the end of the row and work in the opposite direction as most of my classmates. I like this class because the simulations are getting more real. We're getting closer to treating patients! I mean, at this point I don't think anyone should let me near an actual person's mouth waving a high speed handpiece around, but still. Closer. :)

Listening and reading

Obsessed with this song for right now. Iron and Wine-Fever Dream.

I'm always in the middle of a book. Or several. I just finished Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Pray Love, and just started Cormac McCarthy's The Road. Very different books.. I think The Road may be kind of scary. Or not scary, but eerie. Haunting. That's what I got from the first few pages. And the cover. I know what they say about judging books by their covers, but look at it! I just really don't think there will be rainbows and butterflies popping out anytime soon..

Prioritizing

I don't think I've even once rolled up to school on time this year. And it's October. School started in August. Bad, bad, bad. I've sheepishly ducked into classrooms so many times it feels like a habit.

However, I'm trying to make some changes around here.

1. Make my lunch ahead of time. It doesn't matter that it only takes 5 minutes to slap together a sandwich, in the mornings 5 minutes is valuable. In the same vein, preparing my materials I need the next day the night before.
2. Wake up at least 30 minutes before I have to leave. Lately, I've been letting myself sleep until 15 minutes before I have to go! I think I have the mentality that because I don't have to think about what I'm going to wear (since I wear the same scrubs everyday), I can just get up, get dressed and go. But then I remember, oh yeah, I should make lunch. Oh yeah, I need to brush my teeth. Oh yeah, I have to eat something. And do I have time to make some coffee? Pretty soon I'm hustlin like I'm running a marathon out the door.

Anyway. Hope this works out.. this being late thing is getting old.

D.5 revisited

Went to a shindig tonight for the new D.5s (I am currently a D1. Last year I was a D.5). Not too many of them showed up due to miscommunication. Not anyone's fault, but it ended up mostly being just my class hanging out. Weird how I was sitting in the D.5s place just last year, not sure how the year would turn out. And now here I am! Thank God.

Also, I got a filling done today. I had the hardest time getting numb.

Carving music review

I had a 4 hour carving session today. I knocked my wax tooth out in 3, but that's still a few hours of uninterrupted work. So I decided to check out a new album, Wolf Gang's Suego Faults.

I have a hard time liking artists in their entirety. It's usually a song here, a song there that I enjoy in an album, and could live without the rest of it.

This album is no exception, but there are a handful of notable tracks that include:
-Lions in Cages
-Stay and Defend
-Suego Faults
-The King and All of His Men
-Midnight Dancers

But it's a solid album overall.. even the songs I found myself skipping over weren't ear-bleeding awful. I would elaborate but I'm currently studying for a test tomorrow. Seriously, tests put the damper in life.

As the season changes, so do my classes

So. I've traded in Gross Anatomy and DentSim for two new ones, Dental Anatomy and Periodontics. I must say, the change is for the better so far.

Dental Anatomy consists of lecture, and then carving teeth out of wax. Today was my first time in working in the lab. It's pretty relaxing, once you get into the zone. My ipod battery died earlier in the day (RIP Steve Jobs btw.. his ipod has made many a run/walk/travel that much more enjoyable for me), but I'm definitely charging it tonight to listen to while working tomorrow.

And Perio! A Godsend. The dr/professor is very type A. The class is extremely organized and structured, down to a seating chart. I thrive on this type of instruction. I hate when things are unclear and loosey goosey. I know what exactly expected of me by the teacher, and vice versa. Some people might dislike the rigidity, but it's like I can almost relax because I know there won't be any curveballs thrown at me, or missing pieces that I might forget. Unlike some other classes I'm studying for right now.. a couple of them have been a lecture here, a lecture there with no consistency in time/place, and then like 2989483 documents that we're supposed to sift through and memorize.

Tentative opinions.. I may change my mind as the semester goes on..

Specialization

Today we had a huge lecture on all the different kinds of specialties there are in dentistry. For each specialization, a representative doctor gave a little presentation. Ortho was conspicuously absent from the group. Which was fine by me, since I currently don't see myself pursuing that route.

As of right now, I'm not too keen on specializing (the general dentist sold me on the fact that general dentistry encompasses all specialties), but it is an option that I want to keep open in case I change my mind. Of the ones presented, I am still most interested in endodontics. Maybe because I worked in the dept last year, but it still seems like it would fit my personality the best. However, my roommate thinks I'll be singing a different tune once I actually start practicing/performing root canals next year. We'll see..

Case of the Mondays

Home is a safe haven for me. I equate coming back to my apartment as a time of rest and relaxation. My room is my quiet sanctuary for me to unwind. Except in the corner, where my desk sits, untouched.

It's actually becoming a problem, not being able to study at home. At the same time, there's nowhere that I can go this late at night to hit the books. I either need to find a way to force myself into thinking that this is a place of hard work/discipline and NOT fluffy pillows/warm tea/soothing music, or venture out into the quickly chilling nights to find a place to get work done.

UVA Law Library, how I miss you! With your wide tables, ample outlets, late hours. And complimentary tea. I can't forget that.

Hiatus

There are a bunch of potential topics I could cover in this entry since it's been a couple of days since I've written. Since I cannot choose, I'm making a list! Because I love lists. :)

1. I went to a concert a couple of nights ago and I ended up really liking the opening act, Scars on 45. I have to say, there is no comparison to recorded vs. live music, when the artist is good. Love love love live music.
2. Spontaneously made a trip up to Charlottesville this weekend, and I think it was good for me. I've been feeling like a fish out of water lately, and it was so refreshing to genuinely laugh and smile and be my weird little self around friends. The weather was amazing too, which only added to my happiness.
3. Today, I went for a run and this guy/girl stopped me. They asked me whether I believed that there was a mother God, as well as a father God and tried to tell me that there is evidence of this in the Bible. WTF? First off, no, there is one God. Secondly, there is freedom and salvation in Christ. He is the only way, and maybe if these people were Christians, they would focus on that while evangelizing instead of a moot point. I engaged in the conversation for a bit, but I knew that no matter what I said, they weren't going to change their minds as much as I wasn't going to change mine, so I continued on my run. I think this is a movement in my area, because this is not the first time that I've been approached about this.
4. My knees hurt from my run. :( It's like my knee caps popped out of their sockets. Hope that they'll feel better soon.
5. Another week of school.. yeah. Let's do this.

The end!

Neuroanatomy

Um why am I about to pull an all-nighter for a ONE CREDIT CLASS?! I don't know what's more ludicrous, the amount of material packed into this tiny course, or the fact that I'm willing to lose sleep to study this nonsense. Literally nonsense.. I am just memorizing facts at this point..

Studying woes

I try not to study late into the night. I value sleep waaaaay more than cramming useless info into my brain. Also, I don't know if this is true for other people, but I have a strong emotional tie to testing. Not only do I feel stressed before an exam (normal) but I also get kind of blue, only to bounce back, free and happy afterward. Late night study sessions just seem to facilitate even greater negative feelings in me. But as I mentioned earlier, I slacked off for the past couple of weeks, so I need to put in my time tonight. In order to keep me going for at least a few more hours, just jotting down some things I am thankful for:
-that my 6 year old computer is a friggen beast! I currently have 10-15 tabs/documents up and it's still trucking along. Usually it'll slow down a lot after opening a few files, but for some reason tonight it is on its A game.
-that I'm not sleepy. I'm going to grab some coffee in a minute, but my body is still willing to stay up
-that this is my last test in this class! To be perfectly honest, I did not enjoy it. Maybe I will look back and wish I put more into it, but all I can think of is the chaos and confusion I had to deal with on a daily basis with 100 dental students running around and sawing things.
-music. It is keeping me sane at this point while I try to get my act together.
-Jesus! That he gives me perspective, and helps me realize that there is more to life than studying and school.

Joe-I Wanna Know

This randomly came on the radio while I was in the car today. I looooooooooooove 90's R&B! Perhaps there's a bit of nostalgia from back in the day mixed in with my opinion, but songs these days do not compare to what I grew up listening to. I'll skip through a lot of R&B that's currently popular when I'm flipping radio stations, but I will always stop for the classics.

No.. motivation...

Sigh. The past 2 weeks have been study FAIL. I've been in La-La Land, a far away place where anything to do with Gross Anatomy is strictly prohibited.

Anyway. Spontaneously went to go eat pho with some old faces tonight. I think I needed that break.. but somehow I'm still on that break, even though it's been like 5 hours..

AHHHH. I need self-discipline!

Angus and Julia Stone-Big Jet Plane

Troy Davis

A man on death row, even though he may be innocent. While unfortunately this is not a unique theme in the judicial system, this particular story has been haunting me since I heard about it for some reason. Kept thinking about it today, and I am following what's going on right now. He has not been executed yet, as I type these words, even though he was scheduled to around 7pm. I cannot fathom what he's going through right now (is he anxious? at peace? in agony?) and my heart goes out to him, and his family. Obviously, I can't say for certain that he is an innocent man, but if there is substantial reason to believe that he did not do the crime, he should NOT be executed at this point!

Edit. He died at 11:08pm. This is not right. Rest in peace, Mr. Davis.

Going to the almost dentist

As a dental student, I get free cleanings at school. And my roommate, who is a 3rd year dental student, is in need of patients. So it was a win-win situation today when I went in to get my teeth cleaned by my roommate. I've never been personal friends with my previous dentists, so it was an interesting experience having a buddy get all up in my grill like that. I apparently have some weird, but "beautiful" (says the attending dr, who was overseeing everything) teeth. A couple of my teeth are rotated, I have something in one of my sinuses (the attending is making my roomie look this up and talk to some pathologist about this... sorry, J), I have an extra bone in my palate, and an unexplained indentation on one of my molars. And I have 2 caries/cavities. :( So I have to go back for another appointment. This is by far the most comprehensive check up I've had but in all honesty, it was fun! What's a better way to learn about teeth but to look at your own?

It's Monday and I'm tired

Let's call this an entry, and a night. I went swimming today, though. 30 laps woo woo.

What a relief

It's a great comfort knowing that I'm not in control.

Cloudy

The view from my window.

This weather makes me feel a mixture of happy and sad, with a touch of nostalgia. Actually, heightened nostalgia, because I'm going home for the day!

I cleaned my room this morning, the first step in my quest to stop being lazy. Yay.

Complacency

I try to live by the idea of never becoming complacent. This is not because I hate complacency-no, it is the exact opposite: I could easily crawl under the warm blanket it offers, and find refuge in it forever. I'm prone to craving comfort and stability, even at the expense of growth.

In the long run, I don't believe that this is what I want out of my life, and ultimately/more importantly, not what God wants.

But lately I've been Lazy. With a capital L. With everything. Hopefully I'll snap out of this soon.

"It's always darkest before the dawn."

Florence and the Machine-Shake it Out. 

Sing it, girl!

Little Yellow Leaf-Carin Berger

And then, high up on an icy branch, a scarlet flash. / One more leaf holding tight. / "You're here?" called the Little Yellow Leaf. / "I am," said the Little Scarlet Leaf. / "Like me!" said the Little Yellow Leaf. / Neither spoke. / Finally… "Will you?" asked the Little Scarlet Leaf. / "I will!" said the Little Yellow Leaf. / And one, two, three, they let go and soared.

Loupes day

We had a loupes fair today at school. Loupes are essentially glorified binoculars, but are useful in dentistry, especially for ergonomic purposes. Honestly, the session was just mass chaos and confusion for me. Vendors were saying completely contradicting information, and I had no clue what to look for in ones that were right for me. I decided not to purchase anything today because I wanted to weigh my options before I invested in a product that I'll be using for the rest of my career. But at this point, it seems like I might as well throw them in a bag and randomly just pick one. Indecisiveness..

9/11

Probably the only reason why I remember specific details about where I was when the 9/11 attacks occurred was because people kept saying that I, along with every other American, would. Nevertheless, the memory exists: I was in my 9th grade Spanish class, sitting at the far side of room. Someone knocked on the door and privately spoke to the teacher. Nobody noticed anything different for a few minutes, but then our teacher broke the news to us about what had just happened in New York. Shortly after, the principal made an announcement on the intercom saying that we were all allowed to stop class and turn on the televisions to watch the news. That was when I watched the Twin Towers fall repeatedly, as more and more information gathered during the looping images.

West End

Yesterday, my roommates (+friend) headed to West End to play, and ended up taking pictures.

I like this pic! A moment of unadulterated happiness. We were trying to do a jumping shot, but got this instead.

Today I just studied, studied, studied for my test on Monday. So sick of talking about/looking at the external carotid artery. Hope I do well!

TGIF

I've been coming home exhausted every day this week, but I'm okay today for some reason. Feeling pretty mellow, well rested, and up for anything tonight. Glad that the week flew by quickly though.

Good news on the Dentsim front: passed my second #18 Class II today! Barely, but it still counts. I've been so focused on studying for my Gross test that Dentsim has sorta fallen by the wayside.. today I just wanted to pass, and leave so I could go back to the cadaver lab to study. I think dental school is all about prioritizing what's important at the moment, and what's not.

Happy birthday, little brother!

My brother is 23 today! One of my favorite people in the world.

The Cinematic Orchestra-To Build a Home

I went home for the weekend, and left my toothbrush there. I meant to pick up a new one after school yesterday, but forgot. My dirty little confession: I haven't properly brushed my teeth since Monday morning. :X The best I've done is flossed and rinsed with mouthwash. But I bought one today, so I'm so looking forward to giving my pearly whites some TLC tonight! Is this TMI? Whatever.

Correatown-All The World (I Tell Myself)

Rainy Tuesday. Just caught a few episodes of Friends.. I honestly LOVE this show. I haven't seen it in a while, but it was perfect "unwinding" tv, especially with the weather. It never ever fails to make me laugh, even though I've seen almost every episode, multiple times.

Anyway. We opened the skull today in Gross Anatomy. My group's brain oozed out and was mushy so we had to throw ours away. And I passed one of my Class II #18 tooth preps! After mucho failing. One more to go..

Edit. I have to include this quote from the NYT for the day, on how competitive getting into preschool/private school is these days. It is disturbing yet amusing: "One of the lucky 17 who got into Trinity’s kindergarten class with no previous connection to the school, and who helps make it diverse, is the daughter of Rajeev Bhaman, a portfolio manager, and Gala Prabhu, a management consultant. The low acceptance rate led the couple to apply to nine schools in a process Mr. Bhaman described as 'my full-time job for four months' and 'way more difficult than anything I’ve done academically in my life, including applying to university in America from India.'"

Ridiculous.

Unexpected finds

I went to the outlets today. I didn't expect to find anything I would be excited about, but ended up buying my first pair of ankle boots, thanks to the Labor Day sales going on. The price was right, and the boots have an understated/simple but classic look which I like. This actually makes me look even more forward to the colder weather.. got big plans for these!

Guilty pleasures

I hate to admit it, but one of my guilty pleasures is watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Yes, they can be shallow but at the same time I love watching the family dynamics. Plus it's nice to escape reality for a bit and get sucked into another world that is very different from mine. E! has been playing episodes all day this week, so it'll be on when I get home from school and I'll watch an episode or two. It's so mindless that it helps to forget the stresses of the day lol.

I saw some of the marathon today but missed the newer episodes. Hopefully I'll get a chance to catch up with it later.

Fall

Happy 3rd day of September!

The weather is cooling off. This season has always typically been characterized by changes, by adjustments to a new routine, by a certain freshness that can only be found in these couple of months of the year. I think it might be my favorite. Summer has been good to me, but I'm actually looking forward to fall.

Sleepy!

So tired.. been sleepy since like 9pm but just got home and gotta keep up my blogging streak! To make this quick, I'm just posting an amusing video I saw the other day. It's not as sketchy as the video freeze-frame is making it out to be. But yeah-Google is kind of creepy! One time I was having an ant problem in my house and FOR SURE I did not email or gchat anyone about it (I even looked at my history after the episode), but there was a link advertising how to get rid of ants on the top of my inbox. Weeeeeeeeeeird.

Ok, GOOD NIGHT!

Scrubs

Got my scrubs today! To commemorate, here I am, modeling the top.. even though the main point of the picture, the embroidery, is kinda hard to read. It just says my name and "Dentistry 2015". Exciting.. but I am sure the novelty will eventually wear off, since I have to wear this everyday for the next four years.

I had Dentsim again today.. def got fed a piece of humble pie, coming in to class feeling high and mighty after my last competency. Class II #18 tooth preparations are no joke for me! Good thing we're not going to be tested on them.. for now. Hopefully I'll get better so that I don't eff up anyone's teeth in the future.

Psalm 13

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, O Lord my God
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
for he has been good to me.

Refuse to be defeated...

Forgetful

I accidentally left my debit card in the ATM two weeks ago. Definitely noticed its loss.. living on $3 cash and a credit card (bc some places require a minimum dollar purchase) has taught me how to be resourceful. Finally called and hopefully I'll get a new card soon though. I think I've truly learned my lesson about being careful that I have my belongings with me.. such a hassle to get a replacement.

Foster the People-I Would Do Anything For You

Probably my favorite Foster the People song. Pumped Up Kicks is great, but the lyrics are a wee bit scary. Found out that they're playing at the National next month..

Aftermath

I survived the hurricane! Which I thought wasn't too difficult to do, since I spent my Saturday cooped up in my room, and only had intermittent power outages to deal with. I went outside today though, and there was a lot more damage than I had expected. Lots of fallen trees, traffic lights that didn't work, etc. Thank you God for keeping me safe!

In other news, on our way to church today, we hit some traffic that was unrelated to the hurricane... geese crossing the road! So cute.

Gearing up for another week of school..

Hurricane Irene

Windy, rainy day. Hopefully it'll just stay like this.. love this weather! Makes me want to stay inside, relax, and be cozy.

Rosi Golan-Come Around

Phoenician & Camel

My roommates and I have a tradition where we take each other out to dinner on birthdays. Because I was away this year on my actual birthday, we celebrated mine today! I chose the Phoenician, a Lebanese joint that I heard was great. It was good, but not good enough to be a favorite.

I totally meant to take pictures (brought my cam and everything) but alas, I forgot. :(

Afterward, I went with friends to the Camel to see a live brass band. I'm all for live music, but this was not my cup of tea. I wish I knew someone with the same taste in music as me!

First test

My first test of the semester tomorrow. Naturally, I used a good chunk of time youtubing and finding music today. Sigh...

However, I had a Dentsim competency today, which is drilling on a tooth in a mannequin.. did better than expected. Thank you God, because I was definitely failing on some of my teeth during practice times. It's a gamble to try to perfect the tooth prep, because one little mistake could bring the score down to failing. So I went as far as I could until 1. I liked my grade and 2. I got nervous that I would mess the tooth up completely, and then stopped. I think I was capable of improving it a little more though.

I will say that Dentsim makes me excited about dentistry. I can't say the same about Gross Anatomy...

Life of a dental student

Today's schedule:
7:00 Wake up, get ready for school (supposed to be 6:30 >_<)
8:00 Gross anatomy lab/lecture
12:15 Lunch (minus 10 minutes to go find a fork)
12:30 Dentsim practice
2:00 Study gross in lab
7:00 Arrive home, eat dinner, break
Now Supposed to go back to studying but I think I need a longer break...

I repeat, I can't wait until Gross is over! Should be a lot freer after.

Bon Iver-Skinny Love

A song that I've been obsessed with since yesterday. Not that I relate. Just dig the folksy emo-ness.

Gross anatomy has taken over my life! I can honestly say that I can't wait until this class is over in 4.5 weeks.

Food for thought

From this week's Postsecrets..

Doubts.

Cartoons

In college I randomly came across and read my friend's copy of Persepolis, and until now that's been my only experience with reading graphic novels. I didn't realize that it's a pretty big genre.. I thought it consisted only of Spiderman, Batman, X-men, etc comics.

But then I came across a blog post about other ones, which inspired me to pick up a couple at the library. Just finished Shortcomings, and I'm dying to read Ghost World.

Never thought I would be into reading comics, but there you go.

Heartstrings

God uses everything for his glory. Even weaknesses.

People are collectively one of the top priorities, yet biggest stressors in my life. I think God made it that way so that I have to humbly ask for his guidance and intervention in this area, instead of feeding my love-idolatry pride if dealing with people came easily to me. Heart motives anyone? I kind of forgot about that until I was thinking about this idea.

Some things never change

Day 2 of orientation today. I was kiiinda expecting orientation to be more interactive, but we're mostly stuffed in a classroom all day listening to presentation after presentation regarding different aspects of dschool. Although we did get to go into the gross anatomy lab and meet our cadavers which was pretty cool.

We had a huge break at one point, and so I took the opportunity to go down to the clinic where I used to work. Apparently it was closed that day, but one of the assistants whom I used to work with, and a couple of the residents were there. It was the same as usual though. Same drama, same complaints. As much as I am not a fan of drama, seeing familiar, friendly faces made me miss the place, especially in light of all the new in my life these days.

Protected

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:13
For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

Amen.

Headache

Went for a jog earlier today. My head started hurting.. I think it's because my body got shocked that I'm starting to exercise again. But I still have a headache.. maybe napping for a bit will do the trick.. then gotta get ready to go eat! Been craving a burger for a while now.. Delux, please do not disappoint!

Shots shots shots shots

Had to get a vaccination, tb test, and blood drawn today. That is 3 needles in one day. :( As much as I hate shots, I've learned to be calm about them now instead of freaking out. Regardless of my behavior, I still have to go through with it. So I grit my teeth, look away, and try to get it over with as fast as possible. I feel like I got punched in the arm though.

Happy Friday.

CPR

Back in RVA. Starting to get ready for school. This includes going to a CPR training class. As usual, I got the case of the giggles during serious time (ie watching the videos). But if anyone needs CPR, I am now your girl!

I thrive on routine. This means I think I'm about to be more consistent in writing in the blog since I'm returning to a rigorous schedule. OH WHATTT

Assignments already...

Just got done with a online orientation test for one of the clinic simulation courses.. we have 5 attempts to take it. The first time I took it a week and a half ago, I got a 65. -__- Although to be fair, I took it at 3 in the morning when I was jetlagged (mind was not exactly in school mode), plus I didn't take it too seriously since I had a lot of chances... just didn't think I would do that bad HAHA. So I got freaked out and procrastinated on retaking it until today when I got really sick of the cloud over my head. Anyway, tell me why, when I opened the window, my old test with corrections all over it was available? Hip hip hooray! So it was easy. I actually prayed right beforehand because I was stressin.. gotta give thanks!

With that done, I'm going back into summer vacation hibernation.. peace out school. Do not bother me until next week.. and make it LATE next week..

US politics

This circus going on in Washington right now just makes me want to go back to Korea and live blissfully in ignorance. Please get your act together, Congress!

Coex Aquarium

My second to last weekend in Korea, I made a trip to Coex Aquarium! I'm not the hugest lover of sea creatures (they aight), but it was something cool to do, and I have a ton of pics that I thought I might as well post. Also, I'm still jetlagged! I don't know what the deal is...

 

 

There was this little display and one of the props was this straw bed that was used for babies to pee in back in the day. Naturally, we thought to pose with it.

I tried to take a pic of just the stingray by itself, but this little kid would not move her hand away! When she finally did, another little kid put her hand up so I gave up and just took the pic again. Now I think these pics are cute haha

shark shark shark

And that's that! Oh my goodness, thankfully I think is this the last post with a lot of pictures.. slow uploading is no fun.